Prison Bunks with a View (Swiss Alps - Part 3)

My planning process for this trek was dubious at best. The season officially starts in July, so a number of the regular lodgings were closed and others fully booked. One fine night I spent 4 hours on Booking.com determined to stitch together lodging. Once I figured it out, my bleary eyes booked it all and stumbled to bed. I didn’t look too hard at the details, like exact distances between lodges.

It turns out I missed a few things.

I overshot my lodging for day 2 by a town over. Champex and Orsieres are a stone’s throw, if you have a car. Solved that one by hitchiking. But I undershot my lodging for day 3 by half a hiking day, which would have made tomorrow impossible. Oops.

Feeling destroyed by the prior day’s mad rock scramble, I revamped my plan to incorporate modern methods of transportation to get me to the closest town, from where I could trek up to where the correct mid-point, Mont Fort. Luckily they just opened their season 2 days ago and had ample space (which was how I missed it the first time).

Two public buses to get to the ski town, Verbier. Swiss public transportation is amazing - accurate down to the second and immaculately clean. Definitely a characteristic of the bratwurst side of the Swiss heritage. The croissant side was the one with the brilliant idea to close grocery stores at 5pm. Apparently everyone here is on the Oprah diet and doesn't eat past 6.

From Verbier it’s 3 hours uphill, followed by another hour to the cabin. But Verbier has something special.

A gondola. A functional gondola.

I look up at the hill. Then I look up at the fully operating ski lift above it. Remember all the negative energy I directed towards that broken ski lift on day 1? How miserable would it be to trek with a functional ski lift right above my head?

Decision made. 5 minutes of blissful gondola for $15 >> 3 hours uphill struggle on foot for free. No regrets.

Up top it was another 3 miles (5km) easy path to the cabin through meadows, up to the cabin on the hill.

The journey was rewarded by a panorama of Mount Blanc and the Grand Combin.

That, and the most epic 4 hour power nap ever known to mankind. Have I mentioned that most of this trip involves staying in hostel-like accommodations? In some places, $40 will get you a miniature castle and a butler. In Switzerland, it gets you a prison bunk.

Showers are not included. That ostentatious luxury will set you back another $6. And how long does that get you? 3 minutes in blissful hot water heaven. A micro-second longer and that stream turns into a full-on glacial ice-cold diving experience. At least screaming is free.

Between the lodging experience and watching Orange is the New Black, should I ever find myself in prison I feel somewhat prepared for the situation.