Mr. Popper's Penguins (Antarctica - Part 3)

The beloved children’s book got quite a few things wrong about penguins.

Judging by how many people asked me to bring back a penguin, I was supposed to bring back a whole circus troupe.

But there’s expectations and then there’s reality. Both National Geographic and children’s books fail to mention a few key points.

Expectation:

Reality:

Penguins are…dirty. All that red…that’s poo.

Penguin poo.

And they don’t just stand in it, they plop down on their bellies in it. If it comes off when they get into the water, great, otherwise they don’t even notice.

They make so called “penguin highways” in the snow to get around quicker.

I started calling them poo highways. Well the actual word I used was more decorative, but let's keep it PG.

No one is getting a penguin for Christmas.

Aside from the hygiene factor, they are as cute as they seem.

They are so clumsy on land, nature just feels cruel to make an animal who repeatedly trips on the slightest bump and has nothing for fingers. And yet to make their nest they carry pebbles one by one up to the top of a mountain.

But once they get into the water, boy are they quick. They jump like dolphins and torpedo like bullets.

I added three more species to my list of Galapagos, Magellan, and South African penguins. The Emperor, King, and Macaroni hang out in the deep interior of Antarctica or on a tiny island in the South Pacific that airplanes can’t get to.